Already Gone
by Hoey
Summary: Sometimes if you love a person, you have to let them go. Lily thinks that's what she's doing, but James doesn't agree at all. Luckily for Lily, James isn't one for giving in or giving up. Angsty-fluff. One-shot. Rating for minor swearing.


Author's note: Listening to Kelly Clarkson's "Already Gone" on repeat this popped into my head, and wouldn't let me sleep until I'd written it down. I hope you enjoy!

Summary: Sometimes if you love a person, you have to let them go. Lily thinks that's what she's doing, but James doesn't agree at all. Luckily for Lily, James isn't one for giving in or giving up.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter-related, nor do I own the Kelly Clarkson song "Already Gone".

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"**Already Gone"**

_(I want you to know that it doesn't matter  
Where we take this road someone's gotta go  
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better  
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone)_

"I'm sorry." Her voice was barely higher than a whisper. "I'm so sorry, James."

"Doesn't really matter, does it?" Bitter. "'I'm sorry' doesn't change a thing, Lily. If you were so terribly sorry, you wouldn't be doing this." They've been having this argument for hours, and he's finally starting to realize that he won't be able to talk her out of her decision.

She shakes her head. "I'm doing this for you." A tear makes its way down her cheek.

"For me?!" Suddenly he's shouting, looking positively mad, because really, who does she think she is, saying that her shit decision is for him. "You're breaking up with me for me? I'm sorry if I fail to see how I benefit from this arrangement." Sarcastic now, and frustrated he runs his hand through his hair. Funny how that used to drive her mental, and now she loves the simple gesture.

"Yes, for you," She snaps – her heart is breaking, and she's giving him an out, and he's only making it so much harder than it already is. She sighs and continues, softly this time: "Do you think I want to be without you? _I love you."_

_(You know that I love you so  
I love you enough to let you go)_

He's shaking his head, like he doesn't believe her. "Do you really?" All traces of anger are gone, and now he just looks defeated. "I thought you did, I really thought you did, but here you are, breaking up with me. We've been together for seven months, Lily. We're graduating Hogwarts in a couple of days. We're supposed to be starting the rest of our lives in a few days – together. When we started this year I didn't think you'd ever fall in love with me. I was just hoping that maybe we could be friends, but then you kissed me. And it was perfect, Lily, and I know that makes me sound like such a girl, but the thing is neither of us are perfect, are we? We both have flaws, we both make mistakes, but no matter how imperfect we are apart, I really thought we'd shown that we are perfect _together_".

"I really am sorry, James." She said again. "And I _do_ love you."

He closed his eyes and ran his hand through his hair again. He didn't understand where this was all coming from. A day ago they'd been fine, and then the next thing he knew she was saying she loved him, but they couldn't be together anymore. No further explanation, he was just supposed to accept her decision and move on. Letting out a big breath, he opened his eyes again.

She was already gone. He hadn't even heard her leave.

_(I'm already gone, already gone  
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong  
I'm already gone, already gone  
There's no moving on so I'm already gone)_

He didn't see her the rest of the day, didn't see her at breakfast the morning after, nor in the common room where most of the Gryffindor 7th years were lounging now that they'd finished their NEWT's and there were no more classes or revising or homework to be dealt with. He didn't see her until he was making his way towards the Hogwarts grounds, wanting nothing more than to escape the castle and everything else that reminded him of his time with her, which seemed to have come to an abrupt halt.

It was somehow ironic that it was now that he'd decided not to think of her, to try to ignore the gaping hole that seemed to have taken up residency in his chest since she'd broke up with him not even twenty-four hours ago, she was suddenly within sight.

"Lily!" His urgent voice stopped her immediately, and she turned around, without even consciously deciding to. He was quickly descending the stairs leading away from the entrance to the castle, and coming towards her.

"James." She acknowledged, his name sounding bittersweet on her tongue.

"Lily." He said her name again, as he'd reached her and was standing in front of her. This time it was spoken gently and caring. He made her name sound like the most beautiful word.

She looked away, not able to bear looking him in the eyes. The gentle spring breeze was chilly against her skin, and she drew her cloak closer to her body. A strand of her hair had fallen out of her ponytail, and was being blown around by the wind, until he took it and gently tugged it behind her ear. He let his calloused fingers trail down her cheek, sending chills down her spine at his innocent yet intimate touch. She knew she should pull away from him, distance herself, but she found that she couldn't.

"Lily," he said again. "You're not happy."

She looked up at him in surprise, whatever she had expected him to say (and she wasn't exactly sure what that was herself), it certainly hadn't been that.

He frowned slightly, his hand still resting against her cheek. She couldn't help but lean in to his hand, and close her eyes. It had barely been a day, and already she was craving his touch.

"You're not happy," he repeated. "I keep telling myself that if not being with me is really what you want, if it's what will make you happy, then okay. Then I won't get in the way. I won't protest. I'll be gone in a heartbeat, bloody hell, Lily, I'd already be gone. But it's not making you happy, is it? We haven't even been apart a day and we're both bloody miserable. How is that supposed to be for the best? How is that supposed to be the right decision, when we could be together? Be happy together? Perfect together?" He paused slightly, catching her eyes and staring intently into her emerald orbs. "I love you, Lily. I love you so much that the very thought of living my life without you makes me want to sit down on my arse and cry. But I'd do it for you if that's what would make you happy. But it's not, is it? Because you're unhappy without me too, aren't you?" He brought his other hand to her face, cradling her face in his hands. Lily felt a tear make its way down her cheek, and he immediately wiped it away with his thumb.

"I love you, Lily." He stated quietly again. "I love you, and it's not just some stupid teenage crush. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to marry you and have children with you and live until we're old and grey, waking up with you every day for the rest of our life. I'd marry you right here, right now if it were possible." A small sob escaped Lily and more tears started making their way down her cheeks, following the trail of the one James had already wiped away. "So just tell me what's stopping you. Tell me so I can fix it."

Lily turned her head slightly, kissing his palm. Her next words were almost unrecognizable, being mumbled into the palm of his hand. "I don't want you to die because of me."

James frowned and used his hand to tip her chin upwards, forcing her to meet his eyes. "What are you talking about, love?"

"I don't want you to die because of me." Lily repeated, and suddenly the words came tumbling out faster than she could stop them. "I'm a muggleborn, James, a mudblood. And you're a pureblood. I don't want you to die like Professor Colby. I don't want V-Voldemort to kill you because you married me, I don't want him to kill our children because I'm their mother. You could marry another pureblood James, and you would be safe. He wouldn't target you. Your line is as pure as it gets, he'll leave you alone. If we stay together he'll target you, I'm sure of it, James."

_(Looking at you makes it harder  
But I know that you'll find another)_

"That's what this is about?" James interrupted, torn between being morbidly amused and slightly angry. "Lily, for the brightest witch I know, you really are an idiot sometimes. I'm already a target, don't you see? I think I've made it pretty obvious that I don't agree with Voldemort's ideals. I'd rather die than join him. The Potters have always been muggle-supporters. The chances of me dying are equally high either way, love, and I'd much rather die having spend my last days with you than without. I'm going to fight him either way, Lil. I'm going to be fighting this war for you whether we're together or not."

She took a step towards him, and rested her head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his nose in her hair, inhaling the indescribable scent of Lily. "I'm going to fight him too." She said eventually.

"I know." And he knew that this was one thing he would be unable to talk her out of.

"We'll fight him together?" She hadn't meant for it to come out as a question, but that was how it was presented, none the less.

"Yes." And he sealed his promise with a kiss.

_(Started with a perfect kiss then)_

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Author's note: Firstly, let me just say thank you for reading. If you've made it this far, it truly means a lot. If you've make it this far, it would also mean the world, if you would take ten seconds out of your day to leave a review. It would brighten my day tremendously!

Love,  
Hoey.


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